Down Right Truth

People ask if I am ready to go home. They ask if the kids are ready to go home. I ask the kids if they are ready to go home. The answer is the same every single time. No. We want to be here with Daddy.

It’s not all peaches and cream. Yes we are happy to be together and I keep telling myself that’s what matters. I whole heartedly believe we will get this right.

Everyone and I mean everyone; family, friends, and their friends, Strangers we meet who somehow know he has been kicked out without us telling them all tell us to go, or come back to USA. To go anywhere and not tell anyone we are there.

Yes, I am frustrated although we are treated kindly and feel welcome it’s just not home when it isn’t your own. J is ready to go HOME. He says he didn’t think he would miss his brothers as much as he does. He misses how he was able to spend foolishly on us. Then there is the honest truth.

Ask me what I miss.

1. HOT water. They say you have to let it run a little. I let it run a lot and still I have to prepare myself, then count 1, 2, 3 and force myself in. BRRR! Some people do have water heaters, we don’t. He BETTER get me one before winter.

2. MY Washing Machine. The one here doesn’t do a dry spin cycle to get excess water out. I hang mine out to dry soaking wet or get his aunt to put it in her washer for that last spin.

3. Dryer. Johnny put on a pair of underwear I washed & hanged dried. He said “Mommy this underwear is hard”. I told him “I know baby, get used to it, they will all be hard”.

4. Air conditioning. Not a big deal. It’s just that hour right before we fall asleep. HOT. You sleep in underwear only to wake up trembling and searching for the blanket. A fan would have done nicely. I should have brought one we have 3 at home and a window unit. We tried to go buy a fan here. Except a used one is 450 pesos, almost $50.00. (Not to mention half a week’s pay) for most. Luckily J makes a bit more but not by much.

5. Food. Everything Fattening.

6. Cement. Its rain season here, perfect for crops and a disaster for shoes. Especially kids shoes. Mostly Elaina’s Shoes.

7. Family Movie Time. We live with his grandparents. Across from his Tia Rafa and next door to his Aunt Angelita. A boat load of cousins, uncles, aunts, minutes away in every direction! Alone time is non-existent.

8. The boys say they miss Hot Cocoa Packets, the movies I forgot to bring and the candy they don’t sell here. They all miss Katfish, Grandpa, & Grandma. Elaina misses Tina and the guls.

The things I could live without.

1. Bugs. I have seen more critters here in one month then I have seen in my whole life time. Papa Angel kills flies for fun and makes a funeral line out of them. (now the kids do too, and feed them to the chicks) We have come across “Alacranes”, and snakes eating upon lizards. There are so many lizards.

2. Poop. Well there is the poop of our pets, dogs, cats, chickens, and bunny. Cows are walked on our street daily in the morning then on their way home at night. Horses. Goats. Pigs. It’s all too common on the street and sidewalks.

3. Pet Rodents. J has always told me they don’t climb walls and they don’t get on people. WRONG. I seen them climb the wall up to the ceiling here & and a little girl told me she saw one on her “Papa”. I wrote this at midnight 8/4/2013 because I am afraid to go to sleep Elaina was bitten by a baby rat the morning of 8/5/2013.

Still we like it San Miguel del Zapote, we are with daddy. We have everything we need, and more.

Sad Day in San Miguel Del Zapote

LOBO our dog.

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My kids hug him, and receive kisses from him all the time, when everyone else “shoo’s” him away. He is huge, stinky and a flea bag.
From the moment we arrived, Lobo followed us everywhere. J took us on a tour of the town, and Lobo came with. Every time I took the kids to “El Campo”, he came with. Every time we went to local businesses for groceries, he came with. Every time we went to “El Jardin” he came with. If I went alone he came with, if they went alone, he would go with.

Our dog Lobo went to Doggie Heaven.

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He wasn’t actually ours, but belonged to Tia Rafa across the street. A long time ago Lobo went missing. Apparently he had jumped out of the truck on the way home from the mountains. After a long time, in Zalcoalco, a town 30 minutes away, the family saw a dog that had been burned but was very excited to see them. Lobo rode back home that day 7 years ago, with J.

We never had the heart to make him go home when we went to “El Jardin”, even if he was always run off by other people, because he was a menace there. He would take food from little kids and looked for attention from people who didn’t want to get their hands dirty. We didn’t have the heart to send him home…. Until this day.

It’s sad really, our last memory of him we were not very nice. He was a great companion.

The way he left us is really gruesome. I tried keeping it from Elaina. Apparently, they told everyone, even small children. She started talking about it yesterday.

WARNING: Stop reading NOW if you don’t care to know the details!

Elaina said “Lobo”
Put her hand to her neck and ran it across.
Then closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

A day ago I heard a seven year old say she went to go see all the blood. I also heard a child younger than Elaina mention it.
J had to work, but when he got home he asked where he was he wanted to bury him. Unfortunately, they had paid the trash people to take the head away. The rest of him was taken with the train.

DOD: Tuesday July, 23, 2013

Why on Earth?

Wish I could say we are retiring early. That we won the lotto and are escaping from the zombie relatives coming back from the dead for their cut. That we have planned for years, and it’s been our lifelong dream.

The truth is, it was a fear that someday it would happen. If you have known J and I the 16 years (this May 30th) we been married, then perhaps you know he had lived here illegally for majority of those years.

ICE knocked on our door one morning, April 17th, 2013, and deported him to his birth land. Although he has lived here since a toddler, he considers himself an American, USA is all he knows but he feels he does not belong anywhere. U.S. does not want him and Mexico is not his home.

deportation

He does belong with his family. That would be ME, Johnny (10), Manuel (6), and Elaina (3).

I didn’t always feel this way. After they deported him in the first few years of marriage, I was ready to move on. He has always said he wanted to grow old with me. He returned because I would not go and has not relinquished his commitment to me or his kids for one second.

I may have been afraid to move before; okay I am still afraid. I do want to move. It now sounds exciting. I look forward to our new adventures. I get to live in another country! I get to go visit clear blue beaches. Like the ones we visited when we were in Florida. Even better they will now be our beaches.

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J has all of our hearts, and maybe some of yours.

You don’t scare me! I have a daughter.

Barton Springs in Austin TX, L: Aiden our little friend, Manuel, Johnny, J, & Elaina

Barton Springs in Austin TX, L: Aiden our little friend, Manuel, Johnny, J, & Elaina

J knows I have a lot on my plate and asked me to send him the kids.  If I did, I could slow down and get everything taken care of.  I said, “no”, because the boys are still in school . I don’t know if it will matter in Mexico if they finish this year or not but it matters to me.

It is exhausting, he used to take the boys to school every morning (I got to sleep in). He also used to cook most of our meals, especially our weekend meals. They miss him so much. Manuel says “we can’t play King Kong anymore”. Johnny is very quiet and has this gloomy look upon his face. He was his daddies shadow, from the moment they got home they talked animals, fishing, camping, and watching river monsters. How can I possibly fill that void?

I know they would all rather be with their daddy, including Elaina, as she too would leave my side to climb all over him. If I had to go out, none protested that they wanted to come with me. I had to bribe Elaina if I wanted company by cooing: “I am going shooooopppinnng! I will buy you a toy!” or “Want to go to Tina’s house?”

It’s hard with Elaina. We are not used to leaving her. Well I could leave her with anybody if they showed any interest. J wouldn’t deem this acceptable and I am trying to do things as he would want them done. She is a handful. I can’t take her everywhere, especially when I am dealing with important documents where I have to pay attention.

He suggested I send her. I know he wants them. I know he misses all of them. I know it would be easier with just the boys. I know she misses him and she would be extremely happy. I know she could not be safer with anyone else. I know I will see her in just two months. I know I would have so much more patience with the boys, because I get so impatient due to her “I am a princess attitude”. (Where did she learn that?) I also know as I glance over at her and she is scattering Cheerios all over the floor and wiping her milky fingers all over her shirt, that I don’t know, if I have it in me, to part with her.

What I’m scared of? Not seeing her for two months, not seeing her every night. I am weak and can’t accept this temporary change.

Double, Dual, Two, Duo, Dos

Dual Citizenship will be more of a hair pulling, pain in the butt kind of ordeal. It’s hard enough to deal with American Passports, but dealing with the Mexican Consulate will be a task to say the least. I at least speak Spanish and can understand what they are telling me. How Americans deal with them with the language barrier, I think they would have to hire an attorney to get anything done.

Most friends travel into Mexico as a Tourist and they have so many days they can spend there. I don’t know too much about that and I have not researched it.

There is a FM3 Visa: Basically, saying you’re only staying 5 years or less. If you decide to stay longer you can renew.

There is also a FM2: You plan to stay indefinitely. I could go on this but I wouldn’t be able own property or I wouldn’t be considered for any restaurant, secretarial, washing dishes type jobs. Nationals get first dibs on jobs, and employers have to prove to their government officials why a national could not do the job if I were chosen. Not that I actually want some of those jobs but if hard times are ahead of us, then I will take what I can get. Beggars can’t be choosy.

Those are your choices if you want to live in Mexico. You can’t apply for Dual Citizenship till after you have lived there for at least 2-5 years.

In our case, the only break we have gotten is that J is from Mexico so the kids can qualify for this automatically. Like American passport rules, he would have to provide his Birth Certificate but in addition his ID, they will mail those items back. Please don’t take what I have been told, or what I perceive as the truth, written in stone. It feels that every time I call the consulate I am told differently.

As for my Dual Citizenship, it will be a bit complicated but I want to do mine before I leave, unfortunately, I don’t get in because of marriage. I would also have to prove my parents are from Mexico. My mom was born in Durango, except mom died when I was twelve. I am counting on my aunt, who says there is still family there that can go to their local government office and LOOK for it. Nothing is online and they literally have to search for it.

Why do I need a Dual Citizenship? I want the opportunity to buy land in Mexico, get utilities, internet, a phone, all under my name, & get any job I might be qualified for.
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Peace! I mean DUECE!